Bizarre weird messages I get on MySpace

There have been some that lift my eyebrows, there have been some that make them do that perplexed expression thing, and then there are the ones that are so strange, you have to wonder if your friends are hoaxing you. Unfortunately, in the back of your mind, you feel pretty sure that your friends would do a better job at it. These messages are so ultimately, so critically disfunctional, they have to be genuine.

I truly regret I've only started with this one. Others have completely dropped out of my inbox on MySpace or been deleted. But from now on, I'll be diligent, yes, a diligent steward, recording these snapshots of the MySpace FantasyLand mentality.

From Haris (charming picture of a dark haired guy with nice build) titled "hello beauty" (who wouldn't read something that starts with such a nice compliment?) :

Hello sweety woman how are u doing there and how is everything going aswell....actually i saw ur pics in ur profile so i was so thrilled and also really wanna get to know u better cos u are a woman and kind of person am seeking for here ok.....so if u would love to know me better here is my yahoo im...protect-the-cluelesss@yahoo.com so u add me to ur list then we can talk better on there.....here is a lil word about me am a engineering construction company so i have a son his name is johnson since his mum died have been the one taking care of him cos his a son i so much love and care for so i here by looking for someone that can love me and my son forever ok and i know that its u already cos u looks responsible ok....take care...hope to hear from u soon

My comment: Whoa.

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Along the same lines:

i was searching for my heart angel and my soulmate when i saw your ravishing look and wonderful smile on your photo,which really swept me off my feet and i was so impressed,that made me drop you this few words of mine,.i would love to know you more better than i have already read of you from your profile,and also would love to have a some chat with you on yahoo instant messanger protect-the-cluelesss@yahoo.com or pls try and add me so that we can talk things out more better.., because i ve never been so certain of a woman b4 and i want yoiu to know I got this feelings that you are exactly all i am looking for in a woman and just cant wait to read a reply of this note from you. Pls Kindly get back to me........ am onlline for you now steve....

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Okay, now I realize VERY FEW messages on MySpace are NOT weird. This one is the last I'll post, unless there is a significant jump in the level of communication strangeness.

The following is an exchange with Ken (very handsome picture of a man who looks like a stockbroker or possibly a model):

--- his initial message ---

From: Ken
Date: May 4, 2007 12:21 PM
how are you

--- from me, in reply ---

From: (me)
Date: May 5, 2007 12:32 PM

Hi Ken,
Very good, thank you. How are you?

You have a very handsome smile. Your profile doesn't say very much about you, though. What is your life like in New York?

Have a good weekend,
Deborah

--- his bizarre, weird reply ---

Thank you pretty, am so happy to hear from you, well i will love to hear from you pretty that is like to chat with you pretty, dear come to think about it you so pretty i cant imagin how it will be being with you cos you look like an angel.Dear i will like you to add me to your chat id, angel this is mine protect-the-clueless@yahoo.com

Here is the best message ever, from a really cute guy named Nick.